I'm not a perfect person

comes back.

2008-05-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

it's happening yet again.
and somehow i dont see an end to it.
hello again Mr Pain.
Goodnight world.

apa lagi !!!

2008-05-13T17:50:00.000+08:00

i loved PD.
it was beyond words.
i wanna see tiesto again !!!
this time in bangkok !!!!

finally...

2008-05-02T12:13:00.000+08:00

2 DAYS - FREEDOM FESTIVAL !!!!!
something i'm so looking forward too.....
the journey there with the rest....
drinking the night away......
COSMIC GATE !!!
and the orgasmic TIESTO BABY !!!!
cant wait cant wait

why?

2008-04-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

maybe i'm just stupid.
goodnight.

i'm falling...catch me....

2008-03-30T18:38:00.000+08:00

I don't want to hold back, but this little girl's voice at the furthest corner of my head is corrupting my mind with negative thoughts and doubts. Get out.

I know I do, and it fucking scares the shit out of me.
I want to, but I hate the fact that I still don't know..

so many things.

maxed out.

2008-03-23T14:17:00.004+08:00

quit playing games.
dai yin mai?
because i'm tired.
i'm sick of being nice.
i really am.
maybe i should not care about anyone.
except myself.

anti-smoking.

2008-03-16T15:16:00.000+08:00

quit smoking.

shall try and achieve it.

and somehow i have a mas selamat postcard on my desk.

which i have no idea where it came from.

weird.

enough.

2008-03-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

i can't please everyone.
and i'm sick of trying too.
goodnight.

how true

2008-03-07T17:13:00.000+08:00

He thought he had everything under control.

On the surface, he kept everything in line.

Actually under those near perfect expression, everything is in a mess.

Endless thoughts flood his mind daily.

Never has he had anyone making him feel like this.

She's just a drug that he can't live without.

Constantly craving for more but he knows he can't have it.

His heart aches, the only cure is to sleep it away only to realize that it's another cycle when he wakes up the next day.

He has yet to realize that he was never in control, rather he was losing control.

thanks for the birthday wishes lovelies.

old skool !

2008-02-26T11:11:00.000+08:00

yzoht frorm my younger days.
.
.
sometimes when you think back, you'd realize that all these doesn't amount to anything much.

empty

2008-02-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

i've got nothing left to give.

i'm sorry

145

2008-02-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

I haven't exactly found the energy to blog.

Life's just...going ahead.

I've lost the energy to battle.

I've lost the taste for fighting.

I'm that tired out.

I've aged more in the past month than I have in the past 2 years.

I've shouldered far more than I'm supposed to.

It's 5 more days till the dreaded paper and I've yet to cover all 13topics.

i just want and need someone to tell me that it's okay..

So breathe in so deep

Breathe me in

I'm yours to keep

And hold onto your words

Cuz talk is cheap

And remember me tonight

When your asleep

electric dreams

2008-02-17T16:12:00.000+08:00

was going through the documents in my computer and i chanced upon some stuff which evoked many happy memories. decided to delete them for some reason, not before i read them for one last time.

been having really weird dreams the past few nights, it's almost like it really happened. going to find out what those dreams means later on.

up and downs

2008-02-13T00:17:00.000+08:00

today was a rollercoaster ride
good and bad news were reported
happy?
sad?
anger?
confusion?
i don't know what to say

over spending !!!!

2008-02-10T18:32:00.000+08:00

i just realised something.

i've blown too much cash this week on alcohol already.

and i've got 1month more till payday.

brilliant.

ah ma i love you !

2008-02-07T21:12:00.000+08:00

this is the only festive season i detest.

the only thing i look forward too during this period is to see my granny.

because she's the only one who really cares.

sitting beside her just now made me recall the times when she was looking after me when i was young.

and that brought a smile to my face.

eventhough we hardly see each other, whenever we meet she'll always greet me with a smile, which i will never forget.

thank you for everything you've done for me.

i love you ah ma.

plastic

2008-02-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

Just coz im smiling, doesnt mean im happy

it hurts. bad.

2008-02-05T12:37:00.000+08:00

2days of pain and i could not take it any longer.

went to see the doctor this morning and he suggested going for an x-ray.

i said no to that for some reason and suggested some painkilers instead.

maybe i'm afraid to find out whats wrong.

maybe i'm afraid of the truth?

same but different

2008-02-03T20:12:00.000+08:00

if only....

goodnight.

reflection of you

2008-01-30T06:54:00.000+08:00

zhi ji de ying zhi dou xiang tao bi

stop

2008-01-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

i honestly dont know whats wrong anymore.
i just dont know.
i've tried my best, but nothing works.
i've given up.
i've given up on myself.

try

2008-01-25T19:05:00.000+08:00

everything will work out

that i'm sure

ECP-PIE-AYE-CTE-BKE

2008-01-24T22:07:00.000+08:00

everyday i look forward to one thing.

midnight drives alone along the expressways with no destination in mind.

it relaxes the mind.

or thats what it does for me.

it's friday tomorrow, but somehow i ain't excited.

off to hit the roads. night world

jay !

2008-01-24T18:36:00.000+08:00

somehow it's on repeat.

and i'm addicted to it.

Jay Chou's Cai hong

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai

weirdo

2008-01-24T02:21:00.000+08:00

230am
back from zouk.
it's not the same.
zouk somehow isn't how it is.
it does not feel like home.
i miss the past

at the end of the day

2008-01-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

someone give me pain killers please.

oh wait.

sleeping pills would be a better choice.

the beer don't seem to work.

goodnight.

break free

2008-01-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

i guess the only time i feel free from everything is when i take a drive at night alone.

somehow i feel at ease.

i feel free.

free from everything.

free from everyone.

queer

2008-01-21T18:54:00.000+08:00

this feeling is something so new that i find it hard to decipher how i really feel.

have i lost it?

dumb

2008-01-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

i think i'm just stupid.

fullstop.

on another note, my mum never fails to amuse me.

she just came into my room and said

"i get scared when i see you and your friends drink."

what am i suppose to reply??

on repeat

2008-01-15T21:02:00.000+08:00

wo cong lai mei xiang guo
wo hui zhe yang zuo

cong lai mei ai guo

suo yi ai chuo

-currently on repeat-

-lee hom's ai chuo-

.Random

1.i'm addicted to GTA

2.i'm loving Ape Acadamy

3.disappointed,sad,feel like crying. too many emotions running through me.nothing goes according to plan.

4.alcohol intake has dropped drastically

5.i put on weight

6.i think my class rocks compared to the rest at AFS

7.my mentor has limited vocab.for example "what the fish","alright man","oh man"

8.i feel like i don't know who i am anymore.

9.i miss grandpa alot.

10.i miss xxxxxxxxxx too

help me

2008-01-14T20:42:00.000+08:00

tell me its going to get better as each day passes.

give me some hope.

give me something to hold on too.

they mean the world to me.

2008-01-13T18:05:00.000+08:00

the reason why the children in my house are always safe.

meet trigger the bodyguard.

4month old shar pei ... NOEL
cousins new dog. his fucking cute !

spot the imposter !

spike can't seem to keep still in his new shirt.

get to know you session

i was gonna kidnap him but i got caught.

-will it every change?-

-no one knows-

what a feeling.

2008-01-13T14:04:00.000+08:00

There's an unknown sensation passing through my body.

The feeling of doubt and insecurity.

I think my mind and body wants to shut down

For as long as possible without f*cking up my life.

I want to stand in the rain and cry my heart out.

it's all over me

2008-01-12T21:39:00.000+08:00

i cannot take this feeling.

it's time to hide.

goodbye world.

real life fantasy

2008-01-12T19:22:00.000+08:00

Something in your eyes, that makes me wanna lose myself.

Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms.

There's something in your voice, that makes my heart beat fast.

Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been.

And how long I've been so alone

And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street

And a siren wails in the night

But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me

And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch

And if you knew how happy you are making me

I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

- Chantal Kreviazuk

random thoughts

2008-01-09T19:48:00.000+08:00

I walk alone right from the start

I found a way to believe in my life

My future is coming in series of lights

My disillutions are so far behind

RANDOM THOUGHTS

-i want a SHAR PEI !-

-it's payday in 4hours-

-bangkok trip in 1months time is gonna be a blast-

-i'm hungry-

-i'm going to mambo tonight even though i've got 2papers to sit for tomorrow-

-i broke my atm card-

-i just drank coke-

-i'm feeling restless-

-i need to save money-

-i need to get a car-

-i want a place of my own-

-i got 2summons for speeding in a day-

-my ex-poly classmates are my juniors in camp- *weird feeling*-

-back to my revision-

i'm lovin it

2008-01-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

Wo ai ni ni shi wo de zhu li ye

Wo yuan yi bian cheng ni de liang shan bo

Xing fu de mei yi tian, lang man de mei yi ye

Ba ai yong yuan bu fang kai I love you

-current love-

mambo tomorrow !!!

beyond exhausted

2008-01-07T21:20:00.000+08:00

days like these when i'm stressed out with work.

i wish i had someone to turn to.

someone who can make it all better, with a smile or hug.

hopefully i find that someone soon.

because it's always nice to know, that when your down and out..

there's someone there for you.

-this week is definately going to kill me-

body of conflict

2008-01-06T14:18:00.000+08:00

When I'm lost, can't find my way

You're the light that leads to harbour

When I'm crushed, can't find my strength

You are all elements of life

Giving my skin so warm so tender

Giving me deeper sense of belief

All I know all there is, a reflection of you

A home to this body of conflict

Deep into my love

Deep into my heart

Deep into surrender

ni jiu shi wo de wei yi

2008-01-05T10:10:00.000+08:00

i don't know why.

but somehow, listening to chinese songs kinda relaxes me.

but it also makes me feel a little....

sad i guess.

another extra duty for me next week.

don't ask why.

how low can it go.

2008-01-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

My heart just sank to another level.

will it ever reach the bottom?

not for sale

2008-01-01T19:05:00.000+08:00

every christmas he changes his outfit.

happy new year

2007-12-31T12:12:00.000+08:00

I guess 2007 has been an enjoyable one.

Got my driving license.

Graduated from Ngee Ann.

Met many new faces,got reaquainted with a handful of old faces.

Enlisted into NS, got the job i wanted in the airforce.

Got in and out of a relationship with a wonderful girl.

Partied, drank and smoked way more than i did in 06.

All in all, it was a good year.

A few rough patches might have slowed me down, but always look on the bright side of life right.

Hopefully you guys have a great year ahead.

Lost of love

sabai?

2007-12-30T03:07:00.000+08:00

Goodnight world.

I'm going into hibernation.

Nana's a nice club, it's the former PLUSH.

I'm sorry

2007-12-28T19:28:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for being such a letdown.

I'm sorry for making you feel disappointed with me the past few days.

I'm sorry if I have hurt you in anyway.

I'm just sorry.

I wish you could understand why I did it.

I'm sorry mum.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2007-12-24T12:40:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!

Hope everyone has a good time enjoying christmas with their love ones.

Lots of love, Shaun, Trigger and Spike

what do i say?

2007-12-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

i couldn't bear to break his heart.

i didn't dare to tell the truth.

did i lead him on?

today at the home, i was presented with a tough situation.

i feel damn shitty for some reason.

shall share the story tomorrow.

goodnight world.

sicko

2007-12-20T20:34:00.000+08:00

i feel like puking.
i've got no appetite for dinner.
i am felling sick for some reason.
the dogs smell nice thanks to their shower this morning.
i've got like countless lighters on my table.
what a random entry.
goodbye.

i need rest

2007-12-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

super exhausted.

past 3days has been crazy.

both mentally and physically draining.

my liver and lungs need a break.

last night's drinking session in camp was madness.

i think i heard my liver scream for help.

would you?

2007-12-16T19:32:00.000+08:00

if you could turn back time and go back to how it used to be,

knowing full well whats going to happen in the end.

would you?

i would.

imu

2007-12-15T19:37:00.000+08:00

it's just 10 days till christmas.

the most wonderful time of the year.

the only thing i want for christmas,

is peace of mind & heart.

the only place i've loved.

2007-12-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

works getting tough.
somehow it seems to kick up a notch every minute.
somehow it feels like i'm falling way behind the rest.
and no matter how hard i try, i still feel like i'm last.
life really ain't a bed of roses.
everything seems to get more difficult.
i just wish i was a child again.
---------------------------------------------------
home now feels so lifeless.
i miss my parents alot even though i hardly tell them so.
i miss grandma too.
and most of all i miss ......
i can't help but feel all alone nowadays.
even with my fantastic family and friends, i feel really lost.
my life just revolves around two things now.
work and alcohol.
i'm serious.
i try to forget and remember many things along the way,
but its hard. really hard.
i will i could just fly away to a quiet beach and just forget everything.
but reality does not allow me to do so. not for now.
so the only option i have.
is to seek refuge in alcohol.
gooodbye world.

so you like dogs?

2007-12-12T18:40:00.000+08:00

feels weird not having the dogs around during work.
somehow when i'm stressed out from all the studying, i just wanna hug them.
oh well.....
you can't have everything in life......
or can you?

alcoholic no more

2007-12-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

i wanna hear, i wanna feel....

like i'm close to something real....

Zoukout was amazing all thanks to ARMIN !!

I guess last night proved something....

I've finally given up on alcohol....

2cups of chivas greentea and 4glasses of beer....thats all i had...

renovations finally completed.

time for my furnitures to come !!!!

have a good week ahead...

stupidity

2007-12-02T19:54:00.000+08:00

i've never felt so many emotions in a night.

from down low to up high.

it felt as though i was in a washing machine, just spinning around.

not knowing whats happening.

the next thing i knew, i reached home at 7am.

if my life is going to carry on being all lost, drunk and what shit.

i suggest someone just pull the plug on me.

rock bottom

2007-12-01T19:40:00.000+08:00

i have a million things on my mind.

i wanted to write it all down, but i just can't type it out.

i'm feeling like shit, like seriously rock bottom.

came home last night fucking high and i just sat outside my place smoking till 6.

didn't feel like going home.

didn't feel like sleeping.

because i'm afraid of dreaming.

yucks !

2007-11-30T09:40:00.000+08:00

i am loving my mess long long time !!!

i still taste beer after last nights session

lost and found

2007-11-29T16:30:00.000+08:00

i'm enjoying my job, my life in the airforce.
but i'm still missing something in my life.
somehow i feel incomplete.
i can say i'm happy with what i am, with what i have.
but i'm still incomplete.
this week has opened up my eyes to many things.
work's been good, my colleagues are a hell of a bunch to hang out with, my superiors are fantastic esp Uncle Ben, my foreign coursemates are really helpful especially with the vast experience they have working on aircrafts but one event has made me humble myself in a sense that i should learn to appreciate things in life, be it small or big.
wednesday marked the first military funeral i have participated in.
sending off a fellow colleague, who passed away at 20.
20 mind you.
trust me, the emotions running through everyone that day was unbelieveable. we had to hold back our emotions, we had to fullfill the family's wishes, which was to give their son, a full military funeral.
seeing the pain his parents and relatives going through, i just could not help but remember my late grandfather and the emotions i had on his funeral.
i guess we did our job and his family was really grateful.
rest in peace ricky.

who am i

2007-11-24T16:38:00.000+08:00

i need a break.
from everything.
from everyone.
because....i've lost myself

reached my limit

2007-11-18T12:19:00.000+08:00

i think i'm done with partying.
i think i'm done with anything and everything associated with partying, drinking included.
i'm going to try giving up smoking.
been overspending recently.
bad bad idea.
i think i've come to a point whereby i'm sick of clubbing.

more drinks tonight

2007-11-17T18:12:00.000+08:00

i feel like shit....
major hangover.....
i don't even remember what happen last night...
i know i drank beer in camp, chivas at lookers than i headed to plush.
afterwhich i got no idea what happened.
fuck fuck fuck....
memory lapse......
i just saw the receipts !!!!
THE CARD IS EVIL !!!!!
alright have a nice one people....

hectic

2007-11-13T20:17:00.000+08:00

this week is like super duper packed with activites.
3nights of dinner....
one day of packing up the room for renovations....
2days of shopping for furnitures and what nots to fit inside the room...
bank applications to complete......
worst thing.....preparations for stay in.....
i hope all the cigarettes and redbull can give me enough energy...

bad day

2007-11-13T18:50:00.000+08:00

bad bad day at work.....
don't wish to elaborate any further.
tomorrow's going to be awesome....
i can feel it....

needles !!!

2007-11-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

ji've always liked old school tattoo designs and have planned to collect a few. because my mum has played a big part in my life, i've decided to dedicate one of them to her. and i'm like so excited to get it done like asap. hopefully the latest by next weekend. knowing my mum she'll scold me for doing it but hey, it's something i'll cherish for life.

healthy living

2007-11-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

i need to stay off alcohol for awhile...

cigarettes too....

help !@!!

2007-11-11T18:49:00.000+08:00

renovating a room can really make you go crazy.

trust me.....

Shopping list keeps getting longer....

Total cost keeps rising.....

My bank account is fast depleting....

I hope when i wake up tomorrow i find a million dollars under my bed...

Updates later.

shit

2007-11-10T17:44:00.000+08:00

i just realise....

i've been spending way way too much on alcohol.....

i just checked my statement and holy shit i spent **** the past 2months on alcohol...

madness....

gonna throw my cards away....

need to start saving.....

looks like the car wont be coming anytime soon...

have a great weekend my loves

behind blue eyes

2007-11-05T20:07:00.000+08:00

i guess seeing is believing.

no point hearing stories.

i've got to face the reality.

one way or another.

theres so much running one can do.

family affair

2007-11-02T18:48:00.000+08:00

just so happens my com started playing a thai song and my mom hears it.
she quickly says "don't tell me you go to goldenmile, i'll get gastric".
followed by "quite catchy huh the song"
i started laughing non-stop when i heard it.
maybe i should organise a family trip to geographer.
been a long time since we went out for drinks.

sick and tired of whats happening

2007-10-31T18:49:00.000+08:00

drinking the night away.
birthdays.
work.
thats what i've been up too.
don't really wish to write anymore.
bye

what a night

2007-10-28T19:08:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i guess shit does happen for no reason.
i'm just happy everyones alright.
updates later

gimme gimme more

2007-10-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

si3papers to study for.

starts at 9am later in the morning.

its 1am now and i've not started yet.

i just don't have the mood to study.

but i have no choice but to crack my brains.

i miss being a small kid.

night world.

why?

2007-10-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

the more you learn, the more you know.

the more you know, the more you forget.

the more you forget, the less you know.

so why learn in the first place?

anger management

2007-10-23T02:09:00.000+08:00

just fustrated.

sorry

2007-10-23T01:47:00.000+08:00

2am and its raining heavily. i can't sleep for some reason. i keep tossing and turning but no avail. i really wish i could forget everything. i wish i could erase everything. but i can't. fuck. sorry for being all emo. bye

weird

2007-10-19T18:54:00.000+08:00

tonight we party party party.
dxo.zouk.mos
tomorrow we study study study.
for now we sleep sleep sleep.
i'm tired.

slow down

2007-10-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

i need to slow down.
life's been too hectic recently.
skipped worked today due to a massive hangover.
i'm still reeling in the effects of last night.
off to get more rest.
lots of love.

oh happy days

2007-10-17T21:37:00.000+08:00

i need sleep.....
real badly.......
MOS tonight for Melvyn's 21st.
but for now, some much needed rest.

coke overdose

2007-10-17T01:32:00.000+08:00

hello my sexy friends !!!!
it's 1.30am and i think i drank too much coke because i'm super duper hyper !!!
test again tomorrow, i mean today.
nevermind i'm having a test in like 7hours time and i need to sleep !!!
i ran out of cigarettes.
i need to pee.
i need to study.
beer again after work with the colleagues
i want to club later in the night.
Mambo/Mos will do fine.
Happy Birthday Dad(16Oct), Happy Birthday Mum / Melvyn(17Oct)

adulthood

2007-10-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

being an adult, isn't easy.

i've got many things to ponder about.

and every decision i make, affects my future.

i wish i could depend on someone for help.

oh well, we'll see how things goes from here.

for now, back to the books.

highs and lows

2007-10-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

1.30am.
.
.
To K,R and S.
Cheer up girls. Things will only get better from here onwards. Its hurts I know, but I'm sure you'll find someone who will treat you even better.

To L.
Major disappointment bro. Eventhough I've known you for 12years and counting, you've been a major disappointment. I wish I could talk to you like how we did last time, but things change. And you've changed. I thought you had changed for the better, but you've only gotten worst. I just pray that one day you'll wake up and stop living in that fantasy world of yours.

It makes me wonder......

sunshine after the rain

2007-10-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder what it would be like to live as someone else's reflection. I stare even harder, and soon I find myself trying to decipher what her eyes are saying, who her heart is beating for, and what her mind is thinking. I realize there's nothing you can do to change the past. What's happened has happened. What's most important is how you live your life right now, and how you plan to lead it in the near future. It doesn't matter anymore whether a special someone loves you and is wiling to lay their life down for you, because the most important lesson that I've learnt - is to Love Yourself.

Thank you my friend for everything you've taught me.

Coffee someday soon?

Hugs & kisses.

spinning

2007-10-13T16:31:00.000+08:00

major hangover.
updates later.

tired.

2007-10-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

12am.
Really exhausted.....
Fell alseep the moment I got home, just got up from bed.
I feel really really tired, TGIF or else I'm sure I can't last another day of work.
Felt really proud of myself after doing well in the test, didn't expect it. Somehow felt as though all the effort I put in did pay off and it feels good to see the fruits of ones labour. If only I had someone to share it with. Oh well, gonna get more rest because it's going to be a long day tomorrow.Presentation, drinking at the mess with the colleagues and officers than to the surprise party.
Goodnight world.

Proud

2007-10-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

Full marks.

Yeap, I managed to ace the test.

Highest in my batch.

Everyone's shocked.

Happy Happy !

shagged

2007-10-11T05:00:00.000+08:00

5am.

back from zouk.

damn tired.

mambo was great.

3hours till i start work.

i need sleep.

oh wait, i still have a test and presentation.

zombie alert in camp tomorrow.

goodnight people.

or is it good morning?

back to the books

2007-10-10T20:55:00.000+08:00

Information overload !!!!

My brain's going to explode anytime !!!

Walter's house than Zouk later if I finish studying.....

Oh wait theres the project still....

Bummer.

Back to the books !!!!

slowly.....i'm standing up

2007-10-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

it felt like eternity at work......

i kept looking at the clock, and it looked like it was not moving....

got to head back to the books soon, if not disasters going to happen tomorrow....

worst thing that happened today, i was informed i had to do a presentation tomorrow.....

best thing that happened???

was told the happy hour this friday at the mess has free food plus.....

60cents a can for beer.....

:-)

finally i'm smiling....

ready to go

2007-10-09T19:52:00.000+08:00

6Chapters to revise.

Long night ahead.

Redbull: check !

Cigarettes: check !

Coke: check !

Snacks: check !

I'm ready for war........with my notes.

i need to stop getting distracted

2007-10-09T01:02:00.000+08:00

this week is going to be hectic.

wed-walter's house for drinks than zouk

thurs-sit for test than to the mess for drinks

fri-mess for drinks than to porky's bday party

sat-dinner with the sexy friends followed by drinks than mos.

ok back to my notes if not i'm going to fail.

did i mention i hate what i'm feeling right now?

did i also mention.....

* **** ***

go figure what it means....

sometimes, it's better to suffer in silence

2007-10-09T00:14:00.000+08:00

It's 1am and I can't sleep.

Too many thoughts running through my mind....

I just remembered.......

Someone once told me that the last person you think of before you go to bed, and the first person you think of when you wake up in the morning

is the person your heart is truly in love with.

I think it's true.

thinking of the words to say

2007-10-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

The post-it notes on my computer screen fell off, and now I don't remember what I'm supposed to do.

FUCKING FANTASTIC !

I'm having mixed emotions now, don't know why.

I guess it's due to the test coming up this thursday.

Shall try to relax.

Going to sleep now.

back to work in 9hours.

have a nice day tomorrow guys.

lots of love.

random

2007-10-07T18:35:00.000+08:00

I don't know.....

I just felt a little sad....

A little happy.....

A little confused....

And a little empty.....

one life, live it

2007-10-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

Can't be bothered about the notes or test....
Don't want to be feeling the way I've been feeling for the past weeks anymore.....
I'm just going to have fun....
Because life's short, and I don't want any more regrets in my life....
Cheers to drunken nights......

Hugs and Kisses

2007-10-06T18:07:00.000+08:00

Thanks guys.

Love you.

exhausted

2007-10-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

Physically, Mentally and Emotionally exhausted.

I'm totally drained of every single ounce of energy in me.

TGIF tomorrow, I really need a break.

For now, back to my lecture notes.

Bye people.

hopefully tomorrow is better

2007-10-03T19:41:00.000+08:00

Tired.
Nose is running like a tap.
Hungry.
Craving for beer.
Need a smoke.
Got to get my stuff ready for work.
Test next week which I have to score a minimum of 75% on a topic which is damn alien to me.
Shit happened to the car, which was totally not my fault at all because I parked it at the carpark but some moron reversed into me.

Can things get any worst than this??

I need a break.....from everything

inconsiderate

2007-10-03T19:21:00.000+08:00

I hate people who don't admit to their mistakes.
Thanks alot for the trouble you've caused me.
I hope your car gets into the same situation as you put me in.
ASSHOLE.

sick

2007-10-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

Time check: 12am

i can't sleep.
i'm feeling sick.
my nose is itchy.
my nose is running.
i keep coughing.
got a bad headache.
i've got quite a hectic day at work tomorrow, oh wait in 8hours time
fuck i just wanna die.......

nothing's gonna change for now

2007-10-01T20:49:00.000+08:00

My coursemates are alright, surprisingly a few old friends are in the same class. Instructors are pretty cool and they officially gave me the title of "alcoholic". Brilliant ! Got to stay in camp from 16Nov for 6weeks but I get to go out every Wednesday's so it's not so bad. Furthermore I get to enjoy duty free beer so it's not too bad.

On another note, I don't think anythings changed since. I still feel the same. Hopefully it changes soon, if not PLMC and I have a few sessions together.

"After the endless walking and searching, he realised that he was nowhere but right where he started from.......no where"