it's tearing up my heart
I’ve never felt such excruciating pain before, not until last night. I didn’t expect things to turn out the way it did, but it happened. All these while, I chose to trust her, instead of the things I’ve heard from people. But I guess the old saying “seeing is believing.” does make sense. She wanted time apart, and I gave it to her. I didn’t contact her for 3weeks and this is what I got in return. Honestly speaking, during the past 3weeks, it might seem like I was having the time of my life but deep down inside I was in pain.
The feeling I had at that very moment when I saw it, was beyond words. I felt as though my whole heart was being pierced countless of times by sharp needles. I felt like crying at that very moment but no tears came out. All I could do was watch. Imagine seeing someone you love so dearly, behaving intimately with another guy. I just felt like killing myself at that moment. I never thought she would do this to me.
3weeks…..3weeks was all it took.
Yes, I admit I am partly to blame for how things turned out the way it did. But I stopped messaging and calling her only because she didn’t know what I was to her. I felt really sad when she told me that and at that point of time, I was lost. I didn’t know if she was just taking me for a ride or something. Sighs.
I asked her recently if she was seeing someone and she said no. So now do I believe that? Ever since I met her, I can say that I’ve never thought about other girls except for her. Hard to believe for some people; but its true. The old Shaun would have continued to screw around but I changed since I met her. She was the only girl I brought home to meet my family, the only girl who met all of my friends. See the importance she was in my life. Now all I’m left with are memories and nothing more.
I will admit, there’s a part of me still hoping that we would get back together but I don’t think it’s going to happen. Fuck, I’m starting to tear up again. I really wish I could turn back the hands of time but reality does not allow it. I wish she was here beside me too, just lying down doing nothing. Sweet memories……
To Ben and Johnny,
You guys kept me out of trouble last night, spoke to me and made me feel better and I really appreciate it. Thanks.
The feeling I had at that very moment when I saw it, was beyond words. I felt as though my whole heart was being pierced countless of times by sharp needles. I felt like crying at that very moment but no tears came out. All I could do was watch. Imagine seeing someone you love so dearly, behaving intimately with another guy. I just felt like killing myself at that moment. I never thought she would do this to me.
3weeks…..3weeks was all it took.
Yes, I admit I am partly to blame for how things turned out the way it did. But I stopped messaging and calling her only because she didn’t know what I was to her. I felt really sad when she told me that and at that point of time, I was lost. I didn’t know if she was just taking me for a ride or something. Sighs.
I asked her recently if she was seeing someone and she said no. So now do I believe that? Ever since I met her, I can say that I’ve never thought about other girls except for her. Hard to believe for some people; but its true. The old Shaun would have continued to screw around but I changed since I met her. She was the only girl I brought home to meet my family, the only girl who met all of my friends. See the importance she was in my life. Now all I’m left with are memories and nothing more.
I will admit, there’s a part of me still hoping that we would get back together but I don’t think it’s going to happen. Fuck, I’m starting to tear up again. I really wish I could turn back the hands of time but reality does not allow it. I wish she was here beside me too, just lying down doing nothing. Sweet memories……
To Ben and Johnny,
You guys kept me out of trouble last night, spoke to me and made me feel better and I really appreciate it. Thanks.
posted by shaun at
Saturday, October 28, 2006
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home