for real?

Someone said something to me last night at cuscaden which shocked me to be honest. I kept thinking if it was true. Can it really be seen?? IMU.

killing me

Am I afraid to face reality?
Am I afraid to accept the truth?
Or am I still stuck in the past?

I need.....

Quit smoking campaign lasted a mere 36hours.

So much for that.

announcement

Alcohol.

+

Friends.

+

Live band.

=

Perfect night out.

By the way, the "Shaun's going to quit smoking" campaign offically started yesterday.

Smoke free for 1day.

wish

Cold. Hungry. Tired.
I think I'm falling sick.
Oh wait, I don't know either.
I'm just typing whatever enters my head.
I really wish.........
I really hope.....
I just want to live a simple life with no worries.

take care ba

One bad news after another.

First it's mum's health but thank god it's all good now.

Than another news about our good friend.

WHY !!!

I don't know why long I can stand setbacks after setbacks. I need something, someone. Seriously it's harder to deal with issues when your alone. Thank god for friends.

Zouk was good last night. Nice meeting old friends and just having fun.

Going to bed now, really tired.

Nights

Pictures from Tekong

Some pictures from BMT, Jaguar Coy

Fieldcamp. 6Days 5Nights

Fucking hole we had to dig which left us fucking tired and drenched with sweat. Not forgetting countless blisters on our hands.

The 4heros during powderbath. Secrets are not kept between us. Even dirty little ones.

Somehow we managed to smile for the camera eventhough we ate combat rations for 6days. Check out our MAC makeup we have on, comes only in two colors, black and green !!

24Km Route March

Start time 5.30pm. After 4km, we'still alive and kicking.

8km i think, we're still ok. Bring it on.

2am in the morning. Totally shagged. Everything from our uniforms, underwear, helmets etc. is soaked in sweat. Lost feelings in our legs plus our shoulders are aching like crazy.

Passing Out Parade

Standing pround infront of our family and friends.

Finally, out of BMT. HELLO PRIVATES !

Last Night in BMT


The best friends. Always there for each other.

"Tequila Brothers"

Tied and wrestled to the ground. Humiliated and shamed. We finally got you Sgt Dinesh. I told you, I would get you before I leave.

Happy Birthday Jackson. Never saw this coming right??

Smoking gang. Ninja-ing experts.

Karma has it's ways of getting back at you. After 3months of me playing pranks on the rest, I got it back bit time. They tied up both my hands and legs, tied and locked my laces together, taped me onto the frame of the bed and left me alone. Had to make my way down alone, 3stories mind you with the whole freaking company watching me. Brilliant

You'll be fine

I owe you all that I have. I won't be what I am today if it wasn't because of you. No words can describe the the amount of care and concern you have showered on me over my 21 years of life. You've taught me important lessons where I can't get from school or even if I had money to buy I would not be able too. You showed me what "family" is all about. You showed me unconditional love even when I've disappointed you. I promised you something the other day, and I'll make it come through in time.

Eventhough your in pain, you never fail to ensure all around that you're okay and show no traces of fear of whats to happen. Behind those eyes, I can tell you're scared. You know it's going to take a toll on you and you're afraid that you might not be able to take the load of it, but don't worry, we will be there with you. You know that everyone is there for you, from dad to us to your siblings to your nephews and nieces. You don't have to worry of what's to come. All you need to worry is about your own health. Just put everything else aside now and concentrate on your road to recovery.

Hang in there Mom!

With love, Your son.

pissed yet worried

Finished work early and intended to meet Vind but came home to bad news. Mum's hospitalised. Asked granny what happened but she only said mummy's been there since the afternoon. The best part, i messaged mum in the afternoon but she didn't tell me. Bloody pissed off now. Updates later.

?

i don't know what's happening.

am i ?

was i ?

can i ?

will i ?

tired, sleepy

6am.
Just got home from Ray's place. Damn freaking tired but can't sleep because i've got to work. Should have stayed home but decided not too so now, i'm a walking zombie. Have a goodday ahead people.

kidnap

I want to kidnap the Chan sister's dog.

Starfish is mine in time to come.

For now, i'll just spend time with my two kids, Trigger and Spikey.

Back to reality on monday.

Goodbye holiday, hello work.

Finally something to keep my mind off things.

crap

midnight walks alone never felt so good.

but it sucks when emo nemo appears.

bummer.

max !

I think ATB's track "Ecstasy" sums up what i'm feeling.

Oh well back to cleaning up my room.

you really are my ecstacy

5.30am.

Just got back from MOS. ATB was the bomb, music was fantastic, alcohol was delicious and most importantly the company was superb. Pictures will be up when sammy uploads them. Enjoyed myself with the music but as usual, emo nemo had to surface. I’m getting tired of feeling this way. Seriously. Argh my heads spinning, off to sleep. Goodnight, or should I say good morning to some of you.

what happened?

8am in the morning. i just got back from mos. i'm high. not the happy high but sad high. cabbed back alone, decided to drop at bugis and take the train. i never felt so lonely in my life. i actually c***d while walking. many things came across my mind. i felt lost, i felt something was amiss. honestly i felt like a loser. fuck i need to sleep. hopefully when i wake up, i'm happy. hopefully.

thank you

I don't know why, how, or when I’ve become like this.
But I do know one thing.
My mum's the best.
Through all the good and bad times I’ve been through with her, she always smiles at the end. Even though I’ve disappointed her time after time, she's always there for me when I’m down and out. I might have hurt you in the past, and for that mum I’m sorry. I’ll never forget the times you've encouraged me, consoled me and even tried to cheer me up, because like you've always said to me, "your family will always be there for you".
You never fail to practice what you preach.
I promise to never let you see me in that state again, because I know it hurts.

keep it coming, keep it out of my mind

"ba got give the shocker not?"

"dick-licious/ eh the board spoil la"

"i very bad with names la!'

"ah kan lu!"

More supper outings please.

lost

lost in the world of trance.

: )

have a nice day

happy thoughts.

keep smiling.

laugh out loud.

that's what this blog is going to be about.

for emo entries, it's on another blog.

pictures of my army life will be up soon.

good day people.

3months of shit

the guys who i lived with for 3months. thanks for the support and encouragement, not forgetting for tying me up on the last night.

from left (Back row) : Gabriel - blur sotong/ chee kok/ fucked up soldier
Alan - milkbottle/ lazy pig/ chao keng warrior
Jiaming - Jim / mr torchlight/ CO
Kang Sheng - Tank
from left (front row) : Alex - Monk/ quicksand victim/ Drama king
Me - ang moh
Christopher - Reservist
Victor - zero fighter

Not in picture : Chang-z - Buddha
Dal - Fucked up

praying

hopefully things go on smoothly.

you look lost

it ain't what it seems to be,

i'm trying, really.
hiding behind a mask can be easy
but the pain still lingers.

the road to recovery will be tough,

but with family like these, things will get better

family

thanks guys for all my memories.

we'll have many more to come