i promise

I’ve broken enough promises to last a lifetime.

The girl on the 13th floor can testify to that.

But since then, I’ve been trying.

Trying to make sure that none of the promises spoken from my lips turn out empty.

I’ve let enough people down already.

Believe me when I say.

I’ll keep that promise I made to you.

Forever.

And to the girl on the 13th floor.

I’m sorry.

For the times I was all talk and no action.

I’d love to make it up to you somehow.

Pinky promise.

I really mean it this time.

But I know the time ain’t right.

Have a good night peeps.

it's all coming back

so this conversation keeps replaying itself in my head ever since wednesady night.

---------- -----------

K said: “She’s here right?”
I replied: “Yes, just over there.”
K: “Gotten over her already?”
S: “Nope, I still have a soft spot for her.”
K “I understand, Dexter’s here too.”

---------- ----------

it is almost 2 days. i dont know how long i can go on like this

i can breakdown anytime

i don't want tears of sadness, i want tears of joy

i look at the pictures.

somehow, i feel you i want to hold you so badly, so fucking badly

i dont know anything

but i'll pray for your safety

i'll pray for you to be just fine

that's my only wish.

maybe i'm being stupid by hoping for the impossible

maybe i'm just too concerned

maybe i should just erase all memories i have of her

maybe..........

above and beyond

Questions never answered, points never taken, lessons never learnt,

skills never mastered.

What would happen if I die one day?

Would anyone be able to crack my head and understand what I'm trying to say?

Can they ever do that?

All they can ever find is just my gory brain matter.

Before I die, would anyone be able to understand me and my intentions?

Would anyone know the answer to fill the empty hole in me?

Would anyone be able to learn of the reason why i cried or laughed?

I'll live in the minds of some forever always, I hope.

What would happen if I die one day?

How I wish that I have the wisdom to answer all questions.

Too many questions, too little answered.

I have a wish.

A wish to be wise.

emo trip...

Will I ?

I feel like such a fool.

Part of me had died.

I thought I'm over it.

Was I ?

To think things have turned out this way.

Prize of war: fought with zeal, taken with pride, chucked away with ease and a weird sense of familiarity.

I'm feeling emo.

What if I die today?

What will happen?

What will change?

Nothing will change......I'm sure.

.

.

Parents are leaving at 6am for KL. I'll miss them till they return next Friday. I'm feeling rather emo, thinking about the past and all. Sometimes I wonder, will I ever be able to fall in love again.....

mirror mirror on the wall

Day in, day out, we often take things for granted.

Some of our lives are so monotonous, we often find ourselves finding others our subject of envy.

Those who when put beside us, appear much lively, with more interesting life adventures.

Some have real good stories to tell, while some are just boasting to boost their pathetic ego.

Which makes me wonder....

How is it that those who achieved this much in their life be able to put down everything just to do what they want?

I often find myself wishing that i could do so too.

But there things which binds me tight to this realistic world.

Too many....

Our philosophies of life are so different from one another.

We disagree and argue with one another so frequently that i'm so frustrated.

I start thinking..... "why cant these people think from my point of view?"

But then again, i cant be so selfish about things.

When can we think of the big picture?

When can we stop saying the word "I"?

When can we start loving and accepting things the way they are?

When can we stop grumbling about life and its misery?

Clearly, it's enough said.

We're cowardly, selfish, egoistic bastards.

Stop judging me.

Go look at yourself in the mirror.

thanks for everything..

I sometimes get ahead of myself.
Pressing the fast forward button, flooring the accelerator.
Going nowhere fast.
The constant pursuit for......
I have no idea what.......
I've honestly forgotten what it is I am actually pursuing.
What do I want ?
What do I have ?
Do I really want it ?
I've forgotten to stop and smell the flowers.
Focusing on what I want, instead of what I have.
Shit ain’t as bad as it seems.
I think I am blessed.
And I am truly thankful.

take me away to another place

Saving our own skins is pretty much what everyone does. I dare say that this happens about 50% of the time when shit happens.

.
Quote: Someone who knows pain is kinder to others. That's the opposite of weakness.

.

Since everyone thinks about themselves, would it be necessary for me to care about them? The wider the distance kept from the ones you love, the less pain we get. Shutting our mind and soul from the rest, we prevent any possible hurt. Which means, no physical or emotional attachment, therefore we save both parties from getting ass-fucked.

So is human contact necessary when all are selfish bastards and bitches? I see no point. It isn't about the avoidance, it isn't about the hurt. I guess it's really come to a point where hope just isn't there anymore. The repeat disappointments, the exclusions, the childish arguments. No logical reason for me to set foot on that land to which I've said my goodbyes. No reason for anyone.Partly because I'm disgusted by what I've seen and heard, the all-too-perfect fairytale wonderland conversations, the misty, romantic atmosphere etc. It doesn't exist where the mind doesn't.

.

So pardon me while you waste your precious time on foolish games, while I sit back and watch the entertainment, laughing at your silly antics.

quickie

Family at Zoukout06.

.

Just a quick update before I head to sleep.

1. Zoukout was plain euphoria, period. 12hours straight of plain fun which resulted in me being totally exhausted which in turn caused me to sleep from 9am to 6pm on Sunday.

2. Due to Zoukout exhaustion, I failed in my bid to study on Sunday night for my papers on Monday and Tuesday which resulted in me writing nonsense on my scripts. I’m just praying whoever marks my scripts finds something which is worth awarding marks for.

ok I'm sleepy. Night people. Zouk tomorrow?

fucking orgasmic !!!!

okok i just can't wait for tonight !!!!!!

fucking excited.....

we've got countless bottles of alcohol ready for consumption before we go in......

fucking crazy night it's going to be......

ok i'm gonna get changed now even though it only 6pm....

a little pictures for your viewing pleasure

Alcoholic Anonymous Board of Directors.

Jia’s 21st at Marina South

Deon’s 29th mini celebration with guest appearance by “ The Ass”

not motivated at all....

“You’re not expelled from school yet?”…

That’s the first thing my lovely mother asked me on Monday morning, the moment she read the letter the school had sent her concerning my attendance. Dressed only in my boxers, I stood semi-awake at my room door wondering why the hell she had asked me that question. So after analyzing the letter personally, all I could say to her was, and I’m not kidding “I skipped so little lectures? I thought it was more”. As usual, I was being a total idiot and this made my mum a little pissed off, because I’m not taking my studies seriously compared to work and play according to her. Apparently she’s worried that I might get retain another semester or worst case scenario expelled from school because of my attendance. So after promising her both heaven and earth, which she knows I’m doing so just to get her off my back, she left for work and seizing the opportunity I skipped school yet again. You should have seen her face when she heard about it, priceless. Oh well, got to get my act together ASAP before I really get kicked out of school.

It’s only Tuesday night coming Wednesday morning and I’m feeling rather sluggish, mainly due to the late night I spent on Monday doing up the PowerPoint for today’s presentation which went rather well I suppose. So Wednesday night seems so far away, but I told myself to refrain from clubbing till Saturday because its, ZOUKOUT BABY!!! Can’t wait for it man, so psyched up already, can’t wait to party all night man.

Ok I better get back to the books; apparently the common tests are just next week.

rushing

I’M DYING OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION !!
So I basically worked my ass off from 5pm Friday afternoon till 1.30pm today. My god I swear I’m freaking tired now. Even smoking seems a choir now that I’m totally aching all over. I just got back not too long ago and guess what? I have to head back to work by 330pm to be on stand by for some event at Singapore Science Centre and Electrico is playing which means Amanda will be there. *DROOLS ALL OVER MYSELF*, and guess which lucky crew member of Stage4 gets to do her sound check with her personally? ME !!!! Damn excited man, don’t ask me why but I just am.

So my 2nd boss is such an asshole, no pun intended but he is. The company had 3events on Friday night, one was the set up at science centre, another one was a prom night at Novotel and the last one, get this the grand opening of Kandi Bar at Mos and he purposely assigned me to the science centre one. Fucking hell pissed the shit out of me when I found out the schedule in the office. His reason was he knew I liked to drink so he was afraid I would get drunk while working. What stupid reason is that, everyone knows I don’t drink on the job only if the 1st boss says I can which is like always. Never mind, I heard there’s alcohol at science centre tonight so take that sucker, going to drink to my hearts content in front of you!

Ok i better go check my stuff for work later, don't intend to screw up the audio and lighting while Electrico and some other people are preforming on stage.

Oh my god, I’m super tired. Going to take a quick shower before I’m off to work again.